hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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