what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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