Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
That's intense
Be still, my beating vagina.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize