their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
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Princesses don't give blow jobs
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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