We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize