She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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