he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's shark week go big or go home
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize