She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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