Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
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He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
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Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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