in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
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I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
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I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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