I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize