i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
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you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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