he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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