I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize