First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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