dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
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We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
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In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize