I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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