you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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