One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize