I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Fuck appropriateness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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