She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize