it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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