considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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