You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize