Just mADE A PArabola og urine
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize