Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize