Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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