My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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