A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize