Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Did we literally take a cab across the street
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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