man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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