dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize