no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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