i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
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Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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