Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize