Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
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my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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