I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
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Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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