Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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