....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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