she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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