Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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