i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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