just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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