i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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