when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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