good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
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If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
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Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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