I am in a vortex of obligation.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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