Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize