guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize