omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize