Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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